You constantly hear coaches, parents, and athletes talk about the 'winning mentality or ‘winning at all costs’. However you put it, it's setting the athlete up, if they are not always first, to become a loser. If you are not first or a winner then, by definition, you are a loser. Don't get me wrong, I want the athletes I coach to be picking up first place and gold medals as that can be their reward for the hard yards and performing optimally. But it is precisely not having the 'winning' mindset that will enable them to achieve this. By setting out to win or to beat others, you're setting the benchmark by something uncontrollable.